A moment of Nostalgia!

It was 8th December 2023, a warm Friday. I was in Pune city, over 800km away from my residing city Bangalore, to speak at a conference held at I2IT (IIIT), Pune. I reached the location exactly at 9am and felt a sudden change in vibe around me. After graduating from college in 2014, this is probably the first time I visited a college, not to interview anyone. Students were roaming all around the campus.

I went straight to the registration desk to collect my speaker badge, and was welcomed by a few student volunteers with energetic and smiling faces. While interacting with a student volunteer, got to know that they are 1st year students. And he also informed that their 4th (final) year seniors are having exams in the academic block and requested not to enter that building. The conference started at scheduled time. It was great to see so many industry experts coming together to share their experiences, thoughts & learnings. The conference was going great. Then came the time for lunch break.

After finishing my lunch, since there was a lot of time remaining for the conference to resume, I started exploring the beautiful college campus, smiling at random students & staff. Suddenly, the bell rang in the academic building, and it was the end of the exam paper of that day. Students started coming out of the building, mostly in groups, discussing among themselves about their paper. There were students with happy faces and disappointed faces. There were also students with confused faces. Looking at them took me back to my college days. After every exam, how we used to have similar expressions. If the paper went well, then a happy face; If not, then a sad face; And after discussing the answers with friends, sometimes a confused face.

I saw a group of boys gathered under a tree talking and laughing. Another boy came running out of the academic building, went past me to join the group. He was repeatedly shouting “Bhai main pass ho jaunga” (which translates to “Brother I will pass the exam paper”). He was so happy and had a sense of achievement in his body language. Others in the group started congratulating and laughing with him. This reminded me about my exam times. As an academically good student, I never felt this feeling of achievement because of just passing an exam paper. After every exam paper, I choose to stay away from discussing the answers with friends. Maybe for the fear of disappointment, if any of my answer turns out to be wrong or something similar. Now looking at this group of students, it felt like I had missed experiencing something.

I started recalling my college days. The huge friendship circle. The tea-time discussion in the canteen. From listening to and cheering on a friend’s love story; To consoling them after heartbreak. From bunking classes to play cards with friends on the college bus; To bunking classes for spending time with romantic interests in the library or canteen. From exchanging notes; To sharing foods. From going to the movies after college hours; To sharing drinks on Saturday nights. Scenes from the past were flashing by me.

Lunchtime was over and the conference resumed. I took my seat and started listening to my fellow speakers. But this time concentrating on conference was difficult. In my mind I was still thinking about the times from decade old past. Thinking about how we all drifted apart over the years! That friendship circle was reduced over time from a few to none. What happened to us all these years? Where are those emotional promises, to stay in contact, we made on the last day of college? Where is that college uniform shirt with signatures & best wishes from friends?

I started thinking about my old friends and searching for the reasons for not being in regular touch with them anymore. The first reason that came to my mind was, with time we moved to different cities, got occupied with our jobs and personal life, gradually losing contact with friends.

But was that the only reason? What about the friends who moved to the same city as us and stayed a few kilometers away? This made me think about a few more genuine reasons, like jealousy and ego. Friends who didn’t get a job immediately were jealous of others who got it soon. Friends who got jobs in big reputed companies with higher salary packages, developed ego to stay in contact with others who were either working in lesser-known companies with lower salaries or still struggling to find a job. Friends with a successful working life but failed relationships were jealous of those who had better relationships. And many more such scenarios resulting in either jealousy or ego have made us all drift apart.

There was a quote saying “With growing age, the number of friends decreases”. And at that very moment, sitting at a big conference, surrounded by more than 300 people, I could resonate to this quote. It’s not like with growing age we lose friends and become alone. There are new colleagues and new friends we meet over time. But the emotional connection we once had with our old pals won’t be the same with the new ones. Those were the friends who were with us during the most vulnerable part of our life, without any judgment or expectation. But with time, people’s priority changes. And we should accept it gracefully and move forward in life.

Looking at a few student volunteers, a subtle smile graced my face. The energy, the bonding, the friendship, the chit-chats, the jokes, the laughs and everything they had between them were so pure. At that very moment I just wanted to give them one advice.

After a few years, these moments and most of these friends won’t be there. Feel and live this moment to the fullest with friends. Laugh hard with them. Cry harder with them. Celebrate their birthdays in the weirdest way possible. Celebrate festivals & events together. Go on unplanned trips with them. Make memories before this phase of life is over.

Finally, I want to say “Thank You” to all my friends from childhood till now. We may or may not be in contact now for various reasons; But we once shared joyful moments together.